How do you practice self-care?

I wish I could practice self-care in the traditional sense. Even simple, cost-effective self-care like getting enough sleep is sometimes not accessible, so I have my own ways of taking care of myself. For me, self-care means studying, reading, practicing forgiveness, being more honest and truthful, and learning to accept things as they are. My approach to self-care involves taking proactive measures to maintain my mental, spiritual, and physical well-being.

How do you waste the most time every day?

On my phone.… sigh.

Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

Roti. It brings me to a bustling kitchen where hungry bellies are waiting—my mom’s favorite silver pan for the dough lays on the island with an off-white cheesecloth. Giant dough balls with my mom’s signature thumb impression in the middle lay underneath. The crooked, well-seasoned roti pan wobbling on the right burner is hissing with oil. The oil is to my right, and a clean hand towel is next to it. Flour is everywhere. The smell of curry is in the air. The pot is sitting on the rear left burner. Mom only curried chicken breast. The steam from the curry is billowing across the oven vent that is on. I would roll out dough with a large rolling pin. My roti was never round, to the dismay of my sister and dad. Sometimes, my sister would cook it, but I often did both. I would sneak a piece of the roti to ensure it was good. My mom sat nearby in the kitchen because she thought my lefthandedness would cause of the sudden calamity. Someone is looking for condensed milk, and there is a debate about who should go to the store to grab some. A piece of roti drizzled with condensed milk was a heavenly snack. Another pan is standing by to receive the cooked roti and there was usually a piece of foil or a plate to cover it.

I make roti as an adult, and it makes me cry. From the memories of my mom complaining about how arduous roti is, I can’t get mine to taste like hers.

Who is your favorite historical figure?

I have to say it is Jesus. A man of like passions who knew no sin but offended others regardless of his actions. He was witty, dutiful, and wise. He is the son of the living God. He was selfless; he understood God. He was able to see past the things that beset mere humans. Jesus ability to see past the things that are not important and to see what is makes me want to be more like him. To know I have the same access to God that he does Amazes me. My favorite story of Jesus is when he knocked over the tables in the temple. This is second to the story of Lazarus. My favorite parable is of talents and my favorite response of his is how to pray. Jesus existence or witness testimonies in the Gospels are the easiest to read and to understand. I feel one can find comfort for life in the 4 gospels.

Write about your first crush

I met my first crush when I was eleven years old. It was at a primarily all-white middle school, and I was drawn to him because we had similar complexions. He had a perfect nose, protruding ears, and the most mischievous eyes I had ever seen. Those eyes were framed by eyebrows reminiscent of a cartoon villain. Everyone thought he was cute, and I didn’t stand a chance. Being taller than him with big, thick African hair, I may have appeared intimidating to him. Unfortunately, we didn’t get along. He would pick on me mercilessly, resorting to hair pulling and teasing about my hair. Due to my Caribbean and southern accent, I felt embarrassed and shy. When he teased me, I would respond with my fist or foot, not wanting to appear weak or vulnerable. Surprisingly, he never hit back; instead, he would just smile and walk away. He usually sat behind me and pulled my hair. However, one day, he sat in front of me, turned to me, and said, “Rub my head,” and as I did, he began to fall asleep. This interaction left me feeling confused about men. My interactions with him is why I feel like I am stoic.

What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

This question made me contemplate: What do I appreciate about myself? Perhaps it’s my resilience to face unique, painful, and challenging situations. My favorite thing is yet to be discovered.

What topics do you like to discuss?

I enjoy discussing my faith, as well as topics related to the past, ancestry, and the current state of affairs.

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

When I was five years old, my parents introduced me to God through Jesus Christ. Back then, the fear of eternal damnation was a strong motivator for me. However, after 36 years, my perspective has shifted, and I now have an overwhelming love and respect for God. As a single black woman with no support system, it can be difficult to navigate through life. But I find comfort in the fact that God is always by my side. Despite the challenges, I feel incredibly wealthy, healthy, and blessed.

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

Someone. A child.

What makes you laugh?

Random thoughts about my past, present, and future, including memories of my mom and my dog, along with dad jokes and dark humor.